If you have ever heard of the bath parties in Budapest, or Sparty as it’s called, then you probably have heard something about its reputation. For me the idea of partying in the water in a gorgeous bathhouse sounded like a bitchin idea. As soon as I met Eli I was telling him he had to come to the party with me. Sadly when we went to buy him one online the cheap tickets were sold out. The more expensive tickets with drinks and towels and bags weren’t. He was about to give up, and I thought, “Fuck it! I’ve been dreaming about this bath party for two years, and I want a friend there with me.” He payed the cheap ticket price, and I got the drink tickets. It was working out perfectly.
Due to my misreading of twenty-four hour time we arrived at the party two hours late. But we had a great dinner and a hookah beforehand so we were happy. We went to our cabin and began changing. We wanted to get this party started. As we got outside we noticed two things. It was freezing, and some shit was going down inside the pool.
We scurried into the heated pool to get some of its warmth. Oh that felt better. Color lights pulsed over the pool as music played. The place was jam packed. As we looked around there were people getting it on everywhere. I hope they were all just really passionately making out, but that’s wishful thinking. Eli and I joked that we should start tapping couples on the shoulder and take a pull of how many people were actually having sex and how many just looked like it. One couple was getting it on in the water by the stairs. A comical young man in a gold thong started to dance outside the pool near them. Then he got closer. Then he shook his crotch over their heads. His audience, including us, cheered him on and funny enough the couple didn’t notice a thing. This went on for about five minutes before the couple looked up and darted about five feet away to resume their passionate embrace. It was a great moment. Later the gold thong man danced over a fountain that made him look like he was peeing into the pool. He was great party entertainment.
We danced, we got pushed around in a big whirl pool, and I took to riding Eli piggy back and making him jump up and down in the water. My companion was also kind enough to brave the cold and retrieve my drinks for me. Drinking in a pool is probably never a good idea. Beer cans, straws, and cups floated around the pool. I hope they chlorinate the hell out of this thing.
I was so glad I brought Eli and didn’t come alone to this orgy-fest. It would have been really awkward. It was kind of a sausage-fest as well with way too many guys there. Every time Eli went to the bathroom I was approached by at least four guys. I tried to ignore them, but I’m glad I wasn’t a lady alone all night. At one point when Eli was in the bathroom I saw something horrible though. A man was near me in the pool and on his back he had a giant tattoo. Not just any giant tattoo though. On top it said in HUGE lettering SKINHEAD, underneath that was a gigantic swastika, and just in case that wasn’t enough he had the eagle underneath that. I got the fuck away from him. I couldn’t help thinking what if you hadn’t seen his back and spent time flirting with him. Then he would turn around and you’d be like, “Oh shit I just flirted with a Nazi!” When Eli came back we had the joy of seeing this man again, and Eli flipped out just like I did.
Another notable encounter included watching a girl be dragged from the pool by a security guard. Then she was just placed on the side of the pool with no instructions. She stood there shivering in time out for about five minutes before the security guard said she could go back in. We never could figure out what she did. I don’t think she knew what she did. Soon the party was ending though and we were back up to our cabin to change. We decided to start walking home, but in hindsight we should have payed for a cab. As we began walking the drinks began hitting me and all of a sudden I was tired and drunk. Very tired and drunk. It was the longest walk of our life. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Just kidding. But it felt that shitty.
Soon we were home though in our loft beds, and we decided that we would need a bath day to recuperate from our day of partying. The next day was spent in the sauna, cold baths, wave pool, and thermal pools. Gellert has the best steam rooms. One is a dark room with blue and green lighting with stone lounge chairs. Things got trippy up in there. The moral of the story is go to a Budapest bath party because it’s worth putting up with feeling mildly, or maybe very, disgusted with the water and the people. It’s all part of the charm.